Reblog if it’s okay to invade your ask box.
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My struggles with my weight
So I’ve been overweight since I started puberty and being 4’9 doesn’t help. Being short makes me look chubbier than what I really. so I’ve always pictured myself bigger. I’ve also had family members tell me I was fat so my self esteem has always been low.
My senior year in high school I was at my heaviest, weighing at 190ish. People never knew how depressed I was because I hid it so well. I looked really happy because I had awesome friends and I got to go see my favorite bands every time they came to Cali. My parents separated the summer before my senior year. I had to finally accept the fact that my father was never going to change his ways and would stay an alcoholic. I also felt so alone because my mother was always at work and I only got to see her late at night and before I went to school. I was always alone at home, of course the only thing that comforted me was food so I ate. I also had to admit to myself that I was molested as a very young teenager and it wasn’t my fault. I was the victim and I did nothing to deserve it. I come from a family that never talk about their feelings or problems, so I was the same way.
The only positive thing in my senior year was graduation and my acceptance to Columbia in Chicago. I was finally moving away from the place I hated and from the negative people in my life. I finally had the chance to find myself and feel comfortable and sane. I ended up loosing forty pounds in a two year span. I was definitely proud of myself because I did it, I lost weight on my own and at my own pace. I also learned to love myself and to not care wtf others say or think.
I haven’t lost weight since but I’ve gained 10 pounds. I got a gym membership so I can motivate myself to work out. So far it was going well but then I stopped going. I definitely have to get my ass in gear, I don’t want to gain the weight I worked so hard to lose. My goal is to weigh 130 by fall/winter.